Well, they did kind of try to steal our souls
by Zantetsuken Reverse
Summary: The four main game protagonists are happy to live a relatively normal life, but now the fate of the world lies in their hands once... wait, never mind. They're just going to some card game tournament. Soul thieves? Psychotic murderers? Try not to mess with the overpowered demon summoners.
1. Chapter 1

I love comically overpowered characters, especially when they're put into non combat situations.

I'm using the 4kids YuGiOh names. Also, Kazuya is the SMT1 protagonist, Jyoji Hijiri is Aleph (I'm guessing that Hijiri is his first name), Naoki Kashima is the Demi-Fiend, and Flynn Kichigiorgi is… well, Flynn.

By the way, I did plan some things out for why the megaten dudes are here, why Aleph is Hijiri, and why he's not as powerful as the others.

This may be kind of an awkward thing to admit in a YuGiOh fanfiction that takes place in a tournament, but I won't be writing duels. I don't know the game well enough to write out clever duels or even pick out decks. The point of this fic is to joke about the overpowered protagonists.

Well, they did kind of want to steal our souls, so…

The day started as yet another day in the lives of the four overpowered demon summoners. Kazuya woke up first to make breakfast, making sure to leave some fish for his gigantic husky/shouty dog/secretly Cerberus/beloved pet Pascal. Flynn got up next to rush to his early shift at the docks, and Kazuya doled out Hijiri and Naoki's portions of breakfast before biking off to his job as a programmer for Industrial Illusions. Hijiri tried to wake up to eat Kazuya's usual delicious fried rice, but fell back asleep on the table because he had stayed up all night trying to interview Pascal. Naoki had gained the ability to efficiently sleep when there was no danger in exchange for the ability to wake up on time. When he finally got up, he ate his breakfast, lifted Hijiri back to bed, and started folding envelopes for his part time job. As he worked, Hijiri's Brownies washed the dishes and helped themselves to the ice cream.

Two packages arrived around noon, both from the same person. Naoki picked them both up, brought them to the kitchen table, and looked at the labels. One was for Hijiri, and the other was for Flynn. He opened them anyways. "Huh," he said. "Nothing I want." He closed them.

Flynn came home at half past one. "Package for you," said Naoki boredly, folding yet another envelope. Naoki had been fired from his last job at a burger place for breaking a customer's nose because the manager had thought the robber had come back.

Flynn looked at the package in confusion. "I didn't order anything," he said.

"Yup. We all know you're a real tightwad with money," said Naoki.

"Demons never inexplicably exploded into small piles of money for me," said Flynn. "I had to earn every piece of macca I got."

"By mugging every demon you came across?" said Naoki.

"At least I never opened someone else's package," said Flynn, taking the letter out of the box. "Hey, it looks like I'm being invited to a Duel Monsters tournament."

"Isn't that a children's card ga—wait, you're not even from modern Japan!" Naoki said, falling off his chair. "How do even know how to play?"

"It's not hard," said Flynn. "Some guys at work play on our breaks, and I play against Burroughs from time to time. Look, Hijiri got an invitation as well."

"It took me a month to learn, and Isamu still kept beating me…" Naoki moaned.

"Did someone say my name?" Hijiri stumbled down the stairs, looking tired but better than before.

"We're both invited to a Duel Monsters tournament," said Flynn. "Somewhere in America, and hosted by… Industrial Illusions? Isn't that Kazuya's company?"

"Since when do you play Duel Monsters?" asked Naoki.

Hijiri gave a lazy shrug. "I play in tournaments on my days off. My boss wanted me to investigate the weird occult activities at first, but nothing turned up. I kept playing anyways, just for fun."

"And for the prize money?" asked Flynn. Hijiri perked up more than usual. "It looks like it's going to be a lot this time."

"Worth losing your job over?" asked Naoki. "Where is it, anyways?"

"Some island in… 'Ammer-Rica', but the travel expenses have been paid for," said Flynn. "The boat is here in Domino City. Only forty participants, not counting us. Shouldn't be too difficult."

"He plays against me on the Master difficulty," Burroughs chimed in.

Naoki jumped up, and then relaxed. "Oh, right… I forgot about you. Why didn't Pixie come with me…" he said to himself.

"You play, too?" asked Hijiri. "Maybe we should have a match sometime."

"I bet fifty thousand macca I'll win," said Flynn.

Hijiri sighed. "I don't have that much macca, remember? I'm not an insanely overpowered demon or summoner like you three."

"Fine then. Fifty thousand yen."

"You're on, kid. Loser goes without lunch."

"So are you guys going to this tournament?" asked Naoki. "You might lose your jobs if you go."

Flynn and Hijiri looked up. "I'm a journalist," said Hijiri. "If anything, I could check out the participants. Who knows, I might even find something occult there."

"If my manager doesn't let me go, I can just quit and go somewhere else," said Flynn.

"That's a yes?" said Naoki.

They nodded. "Shall we play, then?" Hijiri asked Flynn. Flynn shuffled his deck in response.

Naoki watched them play for a while, not really paying attention. Then he went to the counter and started making onigiri.

Ten minutes later, Pascal trotted over to Hijiri, and barked that he wanted to go on a walk. Hijiri rubbed Pascal's fur, but told him that he was busy and suggested that Naoki should walk him. Pascal looked terrified at the prospect, but the desire to go outside overrode the fear of the dreaded Demi-Fiend.

When Naoki came back after walking Pascal up and down several mountains, Kazuya was already home. "Thanks for making dinner," he said sarcastically, nibbling on Naoki's otherwise untouched onigiri. "What a day… the guy from Estonia was freaking out when he found that his Russian ex-boss knew where he lived. Then we got mobbed with talking mochi and a tiny yellow bird belonging to a Prussian albino."

"I play Pot of Greed," said Flynn, playing Pot of Greed's effect.

"I play my trap card. We might be here a while," said Hijiri. "Let's have dinner and change the bet to tomorrow's lunch."

Naoki and Hijiri made teriyaki for dinner. After setting the table, Hijiri made the announcement to Kazuya. "Flynn and I are going to a card game tournament next week," he said. "It's over a few days, and it's on a desert island."

Kazuya looked up. "Next week? Which days?"

"Saturday and Sunday, and Monday if we go to the final round, but the boat to the island leaves on Friday," said Hijiri. [1] "The boat tickets are free, and the port is right here in Domino City."

Kazuya blinked. "What a coincidence," he said. "I have to go to a desert island for my job from Thursday through Tuesday."

Naoki stopped shoveling rice into his mouth. "So everyone's going somewhere else but me?" he said.

"You can stow away on the ship if you want," said Flynn. "Or is that too hard for the legendary Demi-Fiend?"

Naoki scowled. "You know I won't get caught."

"In that case, who's taking care of the house?" said Hijiri. "Who's taking the mail and newspapers?"

"I'll have Samael take care of that," said Kazuya.

Flynn gave him an odd look. "You're really using a superpowered fallen angel to take your mail?"

"And take out the trash, and clean the bathrooms, and dust the shelves," said Kazuya. "When Samael told me he'd do anything in my service, he meant it."

X

That night, they had coffee with Minato and Teddie as usual. "Children's card game tournament?" asked Minato. "Sounds like fun."

"Ah… I wish I could go," said Teddie. "They've been selling lots of cards at Junes. Yosuke taught me how to play, but I'm no good at it."

"No, that would be a bad idea," said Naoki. "The media would freak out over the guy who can't be x-rayed."

"Could you pour me some more cream?" asked Flynn. Minato produced a creamer and added some fresh cream to Flynn's coffee. "Thanks."

"It's incredible how you make such great coffee," said Kazuya, taking his with lots of sugar and whipped cream. He closed his eyes. "It reminds me of the one at the café in the arcade, back before the whole mess started."

"Practice," said Minato. He took a sip of black coffee. "So, whose memories are we looking at tonight?"

X

The next day, Flynn informed his boss that he would be leaving for a card tournament for the next few days, and his boss was nice enough to let him have his job back when he returned. "You're our best heavy lifter, and that counts a lot," he had said.

Hijiri's boss had asked him to investigate anything occult he found at the tournament, although not hopefully. "You're our best reporter, and we would hate to lose you," she had said. "How you managed to infiltrate a cult and get their secrets, I have no idea." [2]

Kazuya's fellow programmers congratulated him on winning the job, and had a party. There was chocolate cake with buttercream icing, much to the delight of the girl who claimed to be a bounty hunter from the future.

Thursday came, and Kazuya packed his bags and left, leaving Samael to take the mail and newspapers. The three remaining residents packed their bags, Hijiri carrying considerably more luggage than the others. Hijiri ultimately won the duel, and Flynn swore revenge come tournament time.

On Friday evening, Flynn, Hijiri, and Naoki arrived at the harbor. Right before boarding, Hijiri asked the other two to excuse him. "You guys go board without me, I need to go do something first."

Hijiri ran off somewhere, taking his bags with him.

"What's he doing?" asked Flynn.

"How should I know?" said Naoki. He passed Flynn his bags. "Remember, I'm stowing away. I can't carry my bags with me."

Naoki ran off toward the sea, leaving Flynn to carry both of their bags. "Looks like it's just you and me, Master," Burroughs said at a volume just loud enough for Flynn to hear over the crowd. No one questioned the female voice coming from Flynn's general direction. Make of that what you will.

Flynn noticed some commotion right before boarding was called, but didn't think it had anything to do with him. The guard was suspicious about Flynn's multiple bags (Naoki's Magatamas raised a few eyebrows), but ultimately let him pass after finding that he wasn't carrying contraband.

"What kind of contraband?" asked Flynn.

"Oh, you know, the usual," said the man in black. "Marked cards, cards that don't actually exist (by that I mean not legitimate, I can't deny the existence of a card right in front of me even if it's not coded in the system), specialized electromagnets, anything designed to interfere with legitimate duels, small children…"

Flynn blinked. "I would think something more along the lines of drugs or lethal weaponry."

"We don't really care about those," said the man in black. "Anyways, move. You're blocking everyone else."

The guard shooed Flynn away, and then accosted a guy for carrying several thousand Tarot cards.

With not much else to do, Flynn went to the common bunk room where everyone who wasn't a champion was supposed to sleep. They were being loud and trading cards, so he went to the cafeteria where everyone who wasn't a champion was supposed to eat. "That… looks slightly better than the stuff in Tokyo," said Burroughs.

Flynn looked at the stuff. Then he had an idea.

Ten minutes later, Flynn was sitting on the deck with two thick metal buckets and a small pile of junk wood. After checking to see that no one was around, he said in a low voice, "Burroughs. Are there any demons in my stock that can swim, are small enough to not attract attention when diving in, have night vision, and can fly back to me? And preferably have Agi. Not Maragi, or any high level agi skills. Just Agi."

"You have a Hamsa you fused just for your Compendium," said Burroughs. "Not sure about the night vision, but he should do well."

Flynn typed in a bunch of commands into his Gauntlet. In a tiny flash of light and binary, the ducklike Hamsa appeared before him. "What do you wish of me, Master?" he asked.

"I want you to dive in and catch some fish, please," said Flynn. "Enough to fill this bucket."

Hamsa lowered his head and jumped into the frigid water.

"Now… I still can't believe you can emulate video games," said Flynn. "Final Fantasy V, please."

Flynn got to the second crystal before Hamsa filled the bucket. He asked Hamsa to light a fire in the bucket with wood in it ("I don't think me casting Maragidyne would be safe.") and then started to roast the fish. When the first batch was finished, he offered one to Hamsa, who devoured it.

"Oi, Flynn."

Flynn stood up and slashed his sword at the whisperer, but the assailant swiftly dodged. "Hey, it's me!" said the assailant. Flynn sheathed his sword in hammerspace. It was Naoki. "Can I have some of that?"

Flynn handed him a fish, which Naoki sliced with his fingernails. "Turns out I'm not the only stowaway on board," he said. "There's also two kids who want to cheer their friend on, some kind of secret agent, a crazy stalker, and some guy who wasn't invited but came anyways for the prize money. We're all hanging around in the cargo hold. None of us like each other, but we can't exactly rat each other out, either."

Flynn turned to Hamsa. "Go get another bucketful of fish."

Naoki pointed at the bucket of raw fish, and cast a very controlled version of Maragidyne. The fish was cooked perfectly.

"Show off," muttered Flynn.

Naoki grinned. "You're just jealous." He picked up the bucket. "I'm taking these back to the hold, if you don't mind. I don't think those guys have anything to eat."

Naoki disappeared into the night, leaving Flynn with only one bucket. He stole another one.

Flynn had got to the Second World and was trying to figure out how to proceed on that tiny island when Hamsa came back with another bucketful of fish. "Thank you," said Flynn, and he started cooking the fish two at a time.

When both the fishes were fully cooked, Flynn gave the first to Hamsa. He was about to start on the second one when a someone said in an indoor voice that nonetheless carried over in the silent night, "Oi, Flynn!"

Flynn dropped the fish overboard. He turned around to see someone in a black cloak and a Phantom of the Opera mask, with a familiar voice. "…Hijiri? Is that you?"

The cloaked man gave an exaggerated nod and nimbly leapt up next to Flynn. He took off his mask, confirming Flynn's conjecture. "Nice and quiet up here."

"What's with that getup?" asked Flynn, adding another two fishes to the fire.

"I duel under a stage name," said Hijiri. "I'm trying to maintain the tough, silent persona for the whole tournament, and that includes the boat ride."

"You got dressed before you got on board," said Flynn.

Hijiri nodded. "I call myself Zero. My past life's name is Aleph, so I'm Zero with the Infinity Deck. Get it?"

When Flynn showed no understanding, Hijiri sighed. "Right. Uneducated pseudo-Japanese former peasant."

"I'm educated," Flynn protested. "I'm multilingual and I know seven ways to check the convergence of an infinite series."

"Never mind about uneducated, then," said Hijiri. "You're educated in subject matter that does not contain the specific, esoteric terminology that I am referring to."

Flynn accepted this.

"Anyways, the food's honestly crap. Can I have a fish?"

Flynn gave him one. "Thanks," said Hijiri, carefully picking the skeleton out. "I heard some weird stuff in the common room. Some kid's wearing a huge gold necklace with an eye embossed on it. Looks real. Probably expensive. You going to steal it?"

Flynn gave Hijiri a Look. "I don't steal from people unless they attack me," he said.

Hijiri laughed. "Only joking." He sighed. "It's nice to talk to someone again. Part of my stage persona is that I never speak. It was a real pain trying to pantomime trading cards."

Flynn laughed a bit as well. "Hey… where did you get that cloak? It looks nice."

"Thanks. I sewed it myself from a used blackout curtain. For some reason, black flowing cloaks aren't really in style."

"Aren't you hot?"

"The real question is, aren't you cold in just that jacket? But yeah, I get sweaty during tournaments. I've got a Jack Frost to Bufu me before matches."

The two summoners chatted about this and that, completely forgetting about the fish until it started burning.

"Whoops," said Hijiri, carefully picking out the burnt remains.

"It's all right," said Flynn. He put another two fishes on the fire.

Hijiri yawned. "It's late. I'm going to bed."

Flynn's stomach grumbled. "I'm staying out a bit."

Hijiri waved goodbye, leaving Flynn to wonder how the cursed hero managed to sleep without suffocating under his mask. A little while later, the fish was cooked to perfection. Flynn was just about to take a bite when he saw someone fall overboard.

"Hold on to my fish, and don't eat any until I get back," Flynn ordered Hamsa, who saluted with his wing. _This is going to be a long night_ , Flynn thought as he dove after the kid.

TO BE CONTINUED!

[1] The days of the tournament: I didn't think that it was really necessary to look up the dates, so I made them up. I do know how the tournament was split up, though.

[2] Hijiri's cult investigation: Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't Hijiri the one who wrote that article about the Scripture of Miroku? How the heck did he find out which book was sacred, read a copy, and get out with his life? He must be better than we can see if he managed to do that… And activate and operate terminals, hack into the Amalda network, evade demons, and basically survive in the Vortex world.

In case you're wondering why I chose Samael to take the mail, it's because whenever I recruit a Samael in SMT1, it says that it would do anything Kazuya asks of it. Most recruitments end with something like 'we're partners now' or 'I'm on your team now.'

Kazuya's a programmer because… correct me if I'm wrong, but back when SMT1 came out, only people who were good with computers went on the internet. I think Kazuya was very good at programming, enough to have his own computer. That might also explain why there are so few Devil Summoners who use the program in the game. I also think that when he dies with a human ally still alive and they can't use the COMP, it's not because it's broken, it's because they have no idea how to use it.


	2. Chapter 2

By the way, the other stowaways were meant to be Tea, Tristan, and Bandit Keith. The other people mentioned were just random people. Bakura wasn't there because it's a small plot point that Tea and Tristan saw him but didn't talk to him. As for how he managed to evade the dreaded Demi-Fiend… well, he is possessed by an ancient master thief. And Naoki wasn't specifically looking for stowaways.

Incidentally, with the SMTxFE crossover (I got into Fire Emblem first, and I found out about SMT when the crossover was announced), I feel like a straight crossover wouldn't work out. It would be fun, but I feel like the Fire Emblem characters, while they are super strong, can't compete with SMT characters. You have FE characters who can destroy an army single handedly, and you have a SMT character who regularly kills gods. The idea of guardian spirits would have worked out very well.

I find this a bit weird. I'm a very good swimmer, and yet I hate swimming in water where I can't see anything. That's probably how Flynn feels at the start of this chapter.

But it was self defense! I swear!

Flynn crashed onto the deck, teenage boy in tow. Above them, Samael (Flynn's Samael, not Kazuya's glorified butler) flew silently above the clouds, four Exodia cards hovering next to it. "Forgot… superhuman strength… power surpassing the gods… commander of legions of demons… never swam in water deeper than twenty feet…" Flynn moaned.

"Let me go!" the teenage boy struggled against Flynn's ironhold grip. "I still need to get Yugi's cards-"

"Right here," Flynn panted, holding his hand out. Samael teleported the cards into Flynn's waiting hand. "But they're kind of made of plasticized cardboard, so I can't guarantee their condition."

The boy gaped. "How did you-"

"Know you wanted those cards?" Flynn said before the kid could ask the obvious question. "You refused to let me help you until you got those other four floating cards."

The kid was about to say something, presumably the obvious question of how Flynn managed to get all four cards and grab him at the same time, when they heard the sound of footsteps. "Joey!"

Another kid, a younger one, was running towards the one called Joey. "You're alive!"

"Yeah," said Joey, dull with relief. "I got your cards, too… All five of them…"

"Those cards aren't worth your life, Joey!" the kid yelled, or at least tried to yell in a voice weak with relief. He threw a blanket over both Flynn and Joey.

Flynn shivered. _Looks like I'm in the middle of something here_ … he coughed. "Um… we both took a plunge in the ocean in the middle of the night, in freezing water… so we should really try to warm up."

Flynn stood up, letting the blanket fall. "You'd better come with me. I'm going to make a bonfire."

Flynn ran to the deck where he cooked the fish, dumped all the wood he had stored into the bucket, grabbed the one cooked fish, and ordered Hamsa to cast Agi on the bucket. He returned Hamsa and Samael just before the kids were in sight.

Flynn and Joey huddled around the fire, sharing a blanket Yugi had fetched. Flynn put another fish on the fire; he ate the now-cold roasted fish and was still hungry for another. Neither he nor Joey had the foresight to take off their jackets before swimming, so Flynn lit another bucket-fire with Pluto Corpses for them to dry their clothes on.

"Thank you for saving Joey's life," said the younger kid. "I'm Yugi Moto."

"Flynn Kichigiogi," said Flynn. "Want some fish?"

Yugi and Joey continued their conversation about the Exodia cards, which Flynn ignored.

A little while later, the masked and cloaked Hijiri/Zero came running towards them, holding Flynn's bag.

Flynn perked up in greeting. "Hello H-"

Hijiri held up a notebook that said, 'I am still using my stage persona.'

"Oh, sorry, Zero," said Flynn.

Hijiri took out a pen and wrote on the next page, 'I saw you jump in. I brought your other clothes.' He handed Flynn his luggage.

Yugi stared at Zero. "You're Zero! The mysterious man with the infinity deck!"

Zero turned the page of his notebook. It said 'Yes.'

Joey gave him a strange look. "Don't I know you from somewhere?"

"Joey, he was in the same bracket as you were back at the regional championships!" said Yugi. "I remember him because of the weird getup. You two never dueled, but he got pretty far."

Zero turned his notebook again. 'You know who I am?'

"Well, it's hard to miss the black cloak and the mask."

Joey gave him another strange look. "So why are you called Zero, anyways?"

Zero stood up and swished his cloak. Underneath was a t-shirt with what looked like a stylized X or N. He then flipped back to another page. 'This is Aleph, the first letter of the Hebrew alphabet. I call myself Zero. I use the infinity deck. Get it?'

Both of the kids stared blankly. Zero flipped to a blank page and wrote, 'Maybe I should have called myself Hilbert the Hotel Manager. At least Naoki understood that one.'

"Not nearly as cool," said Flynn, changing into his Mikado samurai outfit. "I don't get that one either, but Zero is a cooler name than Hilbert. Anyways, Joey, if any of my clothes fit, you can borrow them."

The first thing Joey picked was the Celtic Armor; the skintight, hyper expensive outfit meant to copy Cu Cuchulainn. "Um… what is this?"

"It's my favorite shirt," said Flynn. "Maybe not that one." He picked out a biking jacket and some pants. "Try this one."

Joey accepted the clothes. "Thanks, man."

"No problem."

Joey warmed his hands over the fire. "Hey… for some reason, back in the water, it looked like you were drowning, too."

Flynn flinched. "I… uh… I may be strong and good at climbing ropes, but… I'm not a very good swimmer."

Joey gave Flynn a suspicious look. "But you grabbed me and forced me towards the ship. How did you do that if you can't swim?"

Flynn scratched his chin. "That is an excellent question. I assumed that the waves pushed me towards the boat."

Zero shook his head and drew a picture on his notebook. It showed that the boat's wake would push Flynn and Joey outwards.

"Good point," said Yugi. "In that case… how did you guys get back?"

No one had an adequate answer to that.

Zero excused himself, saying that he was too tired to stay. Yugi said he'd stay with Joey until Joey was warm again, but Joey told him not to lose sleep over him. He and Flynn chatted for a bit until both of them were dry.

Meanwhile, Tea and Tristan finally heaved Naoki on board. "Body of a demon, slayer of gods, legions of fiends kneel before me… still can't swim any faster than before," he said under his breath.

X

Even if they were physically separated, the four protagonists still met with Minato and Teddie every so often.

This time, Minato brought stew. "I know it's not real, and you'll still be hungry in the morning, but it's the only hobby I have anymore."

"Making food and drink out of raw dream substance is still an impressive skill," said Kazuya, taking the stew.

"Just curious: what does the stew taste like?"

"Enniseed?" said Flynn.

Naoki chewed. "…Licorice?"

"Anise," Hijiri and Kazuya said in unison.

Minato looked thoughtful. "That makes sense," he said. "I made this stew back in high school, for my dorm mates. Each of them said it tasted differently to them, but only I tasted anise."

"So we're eating your memory of how your stew tasted?" said Kazuya. "That is slightly less nonsensical than that memory we looked at last year."

"The last time I checked, there was no ancient Mayan spaceship in Japan," said Hijiri. "And trust me, I checked. I even broke into the school to look at the rock."

"I'm… not sure where that one came from," said Minato. "Anyways, I think it's your turn to have your time as Aleph looked at, Hijiri."

Hijiri nodded apprehensively.

X

The next day, upon docking, the guards came to confiscate the excess cards. "You are only supposed to have forty cards in a deck," shouted the Pointy Hair Guy. "You were informed of this in the tournament rules. We will now hand out plastic bags and markers to store your extra cards. Please write your names on the bags."

'But how are you going to return everyone's cards to their proper owners?' Hijiri had asked when it was his turn to have his deck checked.

"We take the bags labeled with the names of each contestant," said the guard who was checking Hijiri's deck. "And store them in the castle until we find someone is disqualified. Then we put it on the boat for the loser to pick up on the ride back. If you're a champion, then you pick your deck up in the castle after the preliminaries. Darn, you made me lose track."

'Try making five piles of eight.'

Meanwhile, the guy with several thousand tarot cards still had trouble convincing the guards that tarot cards were playing cards but not meant to cheat at Duel Monsters.

Naoki snuck off board with the other stowaways, and then they went their separate ways. Naoki saw Tea and Tristan meet up with their friends, but lost interest when he found Hijiri.

'It is nice to see you,' Hijiri wrote. Then he flipped back to 'I am still using my stage persona.'

"I'll go find Flynn, then," said Naoki, slightly put out.

'We can meet up for dinner somewhere. Let's say we meet back here at seven.'

Naoki went to listen to the announcements about the new tournament rules, which didn't really interest him until he found out about the lack of usual tournament structure and the giant holographic playing fields. He found Flynn getting Burroughs to record the speech in writing so that he could look it over later.

"Gigantic holographic playing fields?" Naoki said. "That is AWESOME. Apparently it makes the monsters look real."

Flynn gave Naoki an incredulous look. "You used to fight demons every day. You live with demon summoners and a demon dog and have your house cleaned by house demons. You _are_ a demon."

Naoki turned a bit pink. "Yeah, but… I still like looking at cool things? Cool things that are relatively safe."

"You're pretty hard to kill anyways," said Flynn.

Naoki shrugged. "It's the spirit of the thing, I guess. It's hard to shake off being a normal person at heart."

"Hey, you!" shouted a young boy.

Flynn and Naoki turned around. "Me?" said Naoki.

"Yeah, you," said the kid. "I challenge you to a duel!"

Naoki's expression froze.

"Uh… Naoki, it's all right," said Flynn awkwardly. "I'm actually the duelist here, so-"

"Liar! Everyone on the island is a duelist!"

"Actually… Um, I'll give you 500 yen if you go away," said Naoki.

"How about you duel me instead?" said Flynn.

"No, I want to duel him, he looks weak," said the kid.

"I don't have a deck," said Naoki. "Or any star chips. Heck, I don't even have the gauntlet! So unless you want to waste everyone's time, including yours, beating me in a pointless duel, you should duel Flynn."

"… Will you still give me 500 yen?"

"Sure," said Naoki. "Just never challenge me to a duel again."

Flynn and the kid, whose name turned out to be Daisuke, found a stadium at random, but it was already being used.

"Hello, Joey," said Flynn. "Yugi's dueling up there?"

"Yeah, that's the guy who threw his Exodia cards overboard," said Joey. "Yugi's dueling him for two star chips."

"But I thought you said he gave one star chip to you," said Flynn.

"He's betting his deck," said Tea. "It's a really good deck."

"Hey, Tea, Tristan," said Naoki. "By any chance were you challenged to any duels?"

They shook their heads. "Everyone wants to challenge Yugi, ever since he beat Seto Kaiba."

"Who?" Flynn and Naoki said in unison.

"Seto Kaiba. You know, the guy who was really good at Duel Monsters?"

"Can't say I've heard of him," said Naoki. "So, no one wants to duel you because they all want to duel Yugi?"

"Pretty much," said Tea. "Joey can't find anyone to duel, either."

"This is all very interesting, but I really want to get this duel over with," said Daisuke. "Have you seen any stadiums? Any that aren't being used?"

Flynn and Naoki said their goodbyes, and found another nearby stadium. "So how much do you want to bet?" asked Flynn.

"All or nothing!" said the kid.

"All right, then."

Flynn found the step by step instructions for operating the stadium. "Let's see…type in amount that we are betting… nope, no additional bets… We place the star chips in this tray… Why do we even need to do this?" he said to himself.

"Probably so they can monitor all the duels and make sure that no one cheated or stole their star chips," said Daisuke. "Hey, cool! They even have somewhere to type in our names!"

Naoki shrugged. "That's what I would do if I had an absurd amount of money. Make giant computerized holographic dueling fields and record everyone's duels."

The two of them began their duel. Naoki was impressed by the holograms and Flynn's honestly wacky playstyle and abuse of the loose rules ("But my Sinister Serpent can shed its skin to evade that attack!"), but he quickly got bored.

"I'm going to see if there are any places that sell snacks," said Naoki. "Do you two want anything? I'm in the mood for popcorn chicken."

"Whatever you get is fine, said Flynn. "Do you think they'll mind if we bring food in these things?"

"Just make your move," said Daisuke.

Naoki searched the island high and low, but couldn't find a single snack bar. Or any shop, for that matter.

"It looks like they're not feeding us!" he shouted once he got back. Flynn had won. "There's not a single shop or cafeteria or anything!"

Both Flynn and Daisuke flinched. "Seriously?!" said Daisuke. "Wait… looks like while I'm staying on the ship, you'll be scrounging around for food! Later, chumps!"

"You would think someone who makes giant holographic dueling fields would be able to feed forty people," said Naoki once Daisuke was out of earshot. "I mean, allergies and taboos would make it a little harder, but still."

"Taboos?" Flynn repeated.

"Oh, right," said Naoki. "Um… you know how there are other religions in the world? Some of them prohibit the consumption of some things, like pork or beef or alcohol. But I heard that you're allowed to eat it if there's no other choice. Probably not in this case, but in your Tokyo it might happen."

Flynn stretched. "I guess it's time for some more fishing."

"Don't worry, I'll do that for us," said Naoki. "As much as I like you, watching long duels isn't my thing."

Flynn paused. "Do you think anyone else brought their wallets?"

Naoki grinned. "Now that's what I'm talking about. But what are you going to do to earn your share?"

"I'll have Hamsa catch fish for you," said Flynn. "Maybe Hequet, too. And I have some spices you can use for the fish. Mostly chili pepper sauce and dried ghost peppers, but there's some ginger and cloves."

"Why do you have dried ghost peppers?"

"After I found out how horrible the food was in my Tokyo, I went back to Mikado and bought several pounds just to drown out the taste."

"Point taken," said Naoki. "So, let's get started!"

"Sixty-forty in my favor," said Flynn. "Let's charge 100 yen for a fish. 200 for a big one."

"Sure," said Naoki. "If there are forty people on the island (give or take) and they have one small fish for each of the six meals, then that would be (4 times ten to the one, six, ten to the two) 24,000 yen total. If you split it sixty forty, we get… 24, 48, 96, 4, 144… 14,400 and 9,600 yen." [1]

"And I'll have another demon look after you so that you don't embezzle from the cash box."

"You don't trust me?" said Naoki.

"Well, you are a demon. Little buggers keep on hawking change off of me."

Both of them gave each other serious looks, and burst into laughter. "We're going to be so rich!"

X

Meanwhile, Hijiri was having a lot of trouble with both the 'challenging people to duels' part of the tournament and the giant holographic fields.

'Fake Trap takes place of a destroyed Trap card,' Hijiri wrote on his notebook and lifted so that his opponent could see.

"Your writing is way too small!" said Rex Raptor. "I can't read that!"

Hijiri threw the notebook at Rex, who caught it. "Got it," he said. Then he threw the notebook back at Hijiri-

But it fell short. It landed right in the field. "Uh… sorry?" said Rex.

Hijiri shook his head.

"Any ideas, mute dude?"

Hijiri nodded, and made an A with his body.

"…I guess that's better than nothing. That's an A, right? And that's… a B? C? You're showing me the alphabet?"

X

Flynn left Hamsa and Hequet to catch fish with Naoki before going to challenge more duelists. "I have four so far. It should be a cinch to get six more."

Just as Naoki had set up his shop selling lightly peppered fish, he realized the snag in his plan. "At least half the people on the island would be disqualified by lunchtime tomorrow and would be eating on the boat. That would decrease revenue by… a third? Never mind, it's not like they're all going to have just one fish for every meal."

The first person who came by was a guy with reddish-brown hair who gave Naoki the chills. "Hey," said the redhead. "You're the only person on the island who has food, right?" he said.

"Right!" Naoki said in his honey-coated Demon-Negotiation voice.

"So lots of people should come here, right?" said the redhead.

"If you're wondering whether you can find a weak Duelist around here, you can find one pretty much anywhere," said Naoki. Something was definitely wrong with this guy. Something unnatural. As a demonic abomination, Naoki wasn't one to talk, but…

"No, that's not what I'm asking," said the guy. "Have you heard of the masked wizard who rides on a fire breathing lion who challenges people to duels in the forest after dark in the west side of the forest? He also drops very rare equipment and lots of yen. He also has five star chips."

"Does he have a skull for a face and dresses like a matador?" asked Naoki. _Too specific_ , he thought. _He talks like he's ordering a pizza, not a description._

"No. But his mask looks like the Phantom of the Opera."

Naoki stiffened.

"And he cackles about cursing people and laughs manically."

 _Ah. Not Hijiri, then_. "So what do you want me to do about this? Smite him and steal his lightbulbs?"

The redhead shook his head. "Actually… could you warn everyone about him? I think he's dangerous."

 _He's lying_ , thought Naoki. _That's not what he wants to do at all. Hm…_ "Couldn't you just, I don't know, tell a guard? Or block it all off with yellow tape. Besides, wouldn't some people try to go there anyways if they know they can find a strong duelist?"

The two of them had a brief stare off. As much as Naoki was creeped out by this guy's vibe, this guy also seemed wary of Naoki. "I will pay you," said the redhead.

 _Bigger the amount, more of a problem it is._

"Standard rate has been 3,000 yen," added the redhead. "But I'm flexible."

"3,000 yen it is," said Naoki. "But 7,000 for silence. Only if you thrown in an explanation."

"700,000 yen for the rumor and the silence," said the redhead.

 _That is a lot… come to think of it, do I actually care about money? Well, I do like having stuff…_

"Also, I can always ask someone else. You're just the easiest person for the job."

"Fine," said Naoki. "I'll take the 700,000. You want me to warn everyone about a wizard in a Phantom of the Opera mask, riding a fire breathing lion, who also cackles about cursing people and laughs manically. He also drops rare weapons, five star chips, and lots of yen. Which mask?"

"What?" said the redhead.

"You know how the Phantom of the Opera was a book, a musical/opera, and several movies? A lot of them use different masks. The original one was apparently a really big black domino mask, but the more iconic one is a white half mask. Some of them cover the top half of the face, but the others cover the right side (I think). Apparently the right-side mask was used because actors couldn't act properly without the top half of their faces. Unless stage directors were really dedicated Two-Face fans."

"Fine then. Let's go with the right side mask," said the redhead. Then his expression froze.

Naoki held out his hand, giving him a look that said, "I know you slipped, but I'm not pushing it. Isn't that nice of me?"

The redhead raised his hand. "Um… Just so you know, even though I do carry around lots of money, it's not always in neat amounts… so could you help me count it out?"

They duo stared at each other awkwardly. "A lot of it is in one yen pieces," added the redhead. "It's real, but I'm afraid to take it to a bank because they might think I stole it all."

Naoki sighed. "Fine."

Naoki and the redhead spent a while counting out exact change. All the while, Naoki was pondering whether this absurd amount of money still counted as proceeds of the fish shop and therefore was subject to Flynn's 60/40 split. "Or I could split it between all four of us," he said to himself.

X

The first person Flynn encountered was a boy in a bandana. The kid raised four fingers.

"So, you're challenging me to a duel, and you're betting four star chips?" asked Flynn.

The kid nodded and pointed at a convenient stadium.

"Okay," said Flynn. He put the star chips in the designated tray, and then typed his name in.

"Master?" Burroughs whispered.

"Not now," Flynn whispered back. "Not when other people can hear."

"But Master…"

"Shh!"

Flynn climbed into the cockpit, for lack of a better word, and waited for the kid to come up.

"Master? That boy just ran off with your star chips."

Flynn facepalmed. "I guess I had that coming."

X

After the redhead left (taking two fishes with him), Naoki's business started to pick up.

Tea and Tristan and their gang came along after a little while. "You're selling food?" said Tristan.

"Just 100 yen for a fish!" said Naoki in the carefully enunciated cheerful tone he used for demon negotiations. "200 for a big one. Also, this is the only place on the island that sells food."

Joey gave him a suspicious look. "Can't you give us a discount?"

Naoki shook his head. "You can go foraging for mushrooms if you want. Come on, what's 100 yen to you? That's cheaper than what you get in a supermarket. At least, cheaper than my supermarket."

Tristan paid for all of them with a 500 yen coin. Naoki handed him five fish. "Enjoy," he said. "Say, have you heard about the wizard in the west forest who runs around cursing people in a Phantom of the Opera half mask? He has a distinctive maniacal laugh, rides around on a fire breathing lion, and gives lots of yen and rare weapons to anyone who defeats him, along with star chips. But if you lose, he curses you. He only appears at night."

Joey looked excited. "Lots of yen?"

Naoki nodded. "Have fun!"

"Joey, doesn't that sound kinda… dangerous?"

"Come on, Yug! This guy sounds awesome!"

Naoki sighed. "I wonder if this is all just an elaborate prank?"

"It's true!" said a girl standing right next to Naoki. "This morning, I saw a guy get dragged off by a blue lion! He was trying to warn us about the wizard!"

"I saw him too!" said a scrawny man. "His face was as pale as a ghost! He was terrified!"

"Okay, so not a prank," said Naoki. _This is really weird… so a guy comes up to me and asks me to tell everyone about this wizard, all the while being overly specific about who he is and what he looks like._

"What did this guy look like?" asked Naoki. "I mean, the guy who was dragged off. Anything?"

"He was as pale as a ghost!" repeated the scrawny man.

"Besides that."

"He was wearing a green shirt!"

"…Sure."

"He had red hair! He was a vampire!" said a girl with glasses.

"No, he had brown hair!" said another girl with an eyepatch. "He's clearly a werewolf!"

"He had green hair!" said another girl. "He's a pirate!"

The other two girls turned around. "Miyuki, you're colorblind."

Naoki raised an eyebrow. _Okay, this is just weird. What is the point of making a fake wizard duelist in the forest?_

His thoughts were momentarily diverted to someone who tried to steal a fish without paying.

 _Maybe he wanted to lure duelists there? But why mention the wizard part?_

"You're breaking my—NEVER MIND! THAT WAS DEFINETELY A SNAP! YOU BROKE MY BLOODY ARAAGGGH!"

 _Maybe I should check this out_ , he thought as he cast Diarahan on the girl.

"Come to think of it, if there are forty people on the island, each starting with two Star Chips, then why are there only four champions?"

X

Around sunset, a redhead settled into the west forest, checked his deck, and grinned. "Time to get to work."

TO BE CONTINUED!

[1] Naoki's calculations: Just curious, but can anyone tell how I calculated that using the numbers I gave? I did it without a calculator, but I did have to write those numbers down. Also, as a VERY broad guideline, I give 100 yen- one US dollar (I'm American). Although it would be funny if Naoki charged $100 per fish.

When I was playing IV, I actually chose the armor based on visuals. This didn't help my stats much, but at least Flynn looked good.

Also, I never let a demon take my Macca in negotiation in IV. It's hard enough to find to begin with, and they might just run off with it. Besides, they like refusals. And in 1, I never let them take a gemstone because I hardly ever have any (and I can't remember which ones I have).

If I ever get to a sequel in Battle City, Flynn will find it very awkward trying to have both a Duel Disk and a Gauntlet at the same time.

Who is this mysterious redhead? How will Hijiri deal with being mute? And will Flynn get his Star Chips back? Find out, on the next episode!


End file.
